Only The Good Die Young: Part 4 of 4

Six Months Later

It was a cool morning. The birds were chirping and the wind blew my hair out of my face.  I walked into the cemetery and knelt down by the small grave. I brushed off the layer of dirt that had gathered on the top. It had been two months since I had been here. 

I placed a bouquet of red flowers to the side. The older ones had long since wilted and were still laying where I had left them before. I choked up like I do every time I visit, but this time I didn't fight back the tears. I let one roll down my cheek. Every day I thought about her. There wasn't a day that went by when I didn't. It was hard, I won't lie. The first few weeks were the worst. Especially her funeral.

 I remembered that day oh so clearly. I had broken down. Matthew had fallen to the ground with me, sobbing. The kids didn't understand what had happened. I didn't have the courage at the time to explain it to them. They just knew that their sister was gone. It was hardest on Calista. She lost her sister, her other half.

I stared at her grave and sighed.

"I miss you Prim." I whispered. I truly did too. The house felt so empty without her there anymore. The kids birthdays were coming up soon and I couldn't help but think what she would have looked like in her teen years. It pained me to think that I would never know.

"You know, Prim, Calista has started writing a book about you. Mason pinned a picture of a primrose on his boy scouts uniform. All of his friends make fun of him, but he still proudly wears it for you. Violet and Liam draw pictures of you constantly. Your father..." I always talked to her like she was still there, telling her what has happened recently. It calmed me for some odd reason. It was as though I thought she could hear me.

I knew that it would be years before I accepted what had happened. Even then, though, I would still be angry that I couldn't control it. Who could ever imagine losing a child? I felt empty inside, like I was missing something. I didn't know what to do about that feeling. Would it ever go away? I know people always say they find relief through closure. How exactly would I find closure in this situation? I let another tear roll down my cheek.

"Prim, sweetheart, I just need to know that you're safe and happy." I started to cry, and that's when I saw it.

A blue butterfly flew over and landed on my hand. I couldn't help but smile. I started to cry again except this time they were tears of pure joy. I hadn't felt this happy in months.

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Note: I'm sorry for how short this post was. I know there are only six pictures, but I was just happy that I finally found time to write it. I was also a little eager to get back to having babies :)