Friday, August 10, 2012

Only The Good Die Young: Part 3 of 4


10 Months Later



I awoke to a loud ringing noise. It was about two thirty in the morning. I tossed and turned and finally put a pillow over my head to silence the noise. I heard someone walk into the room but ignored it. I was about to drift off to sleep again when I felt someone nudging me.


"Chloe. Chloe. You have to get up. It's Primrose." Matthew whispered urgently (If you're wondering what he's doing at my house at this hour, he moved in awhile ago because he was practically living here already). I shot up.
'What's wrong?" I asked stricken with panic.
"Dr. Stevens says we need to come down to the hospital as soon as possible."
"Why? What's wrong? What did he say?" I rambled.
"He just said it was urgent and to get here as soon as possible." I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes and tied my hair back. I knew I shouldn't have, but I put Calista in charge. Even though she was only nine, I knew she would be responsible. Matthew and I practically dove into the car to get to the hospital.

*********************************************************************************


By the time we got to the hospital the first signs of morning were creeping their way through the window. We practically stumbled in the doors and Dr.Stevens was there waiting for us. He ran over.
"What's wrong?" Matthew and I both said.
"Primrose starting coughing up blood very early this morning. We weren't sure why, so on your way over I ordered an X-Ray and put a rush on the results. I took a look at them myself." He said
"And?" I pushed.
He sighed. "The cancer has spread to her liver."


"Oh God." I choked out before going weak in the knees. Matthew saw I was about to pass out and he grabbed me.
"It's okay." He soothed.
"You keep saying that, but it's not." I whispered. I turned again to face Dr.Stevens.
"How did this happen? She was doing so well." I choked out. "She was getting better..."
"Things like this happen all the time. Most of the time they are unpredictable. That's the way caner is. We can't do anything about it." He responded.
"What do we do now?" I pleaded.
He sighed once again, something I had grown to expect bad news to follow.
"I can't do anything more." He answered sadly.
"W-what do you mean?!" I panicked.


"I'm not qualified to perform the surgery that she needs. The tumor has wrapped itself fully around her liver and connects to her left kidney. I've never seen anything like this. It's dangerous. It will kill her if not taken care of immediately. When I mean I'm not qualified to do it, I mean I've never done it before. It's a very risky surgery."
"So, what do we do?" Matthew asked.
"There's a doctor in Hidden Springs who's performed this surgery only twice. It's an experimental procedure, but it's all we have left. He would remove the entire tumor."
"Twice?!" I shouted. "He's performed it twice? How many people have lived?" I asked.
"Only one. The one that lived has many critical needs. I will say again though, it's her only chance of survival." Dr. Stevens replied sympathetically.
"It's really the only option? What could happen to her?" Tears were pouring down my cheeks.
"Yes, it is. If the tumor isn't removed soon, her liver will fail which will kill her. If you take her to Hidden Springs, she will have a chance, but a number of things could go wrong during the surgery. She could bleed out, she may not wake up from the anesthesia, anything could go wrong. If she doesn't have this surgery, she'll die anyway."
Let's do it." I said. "It's all she has left." I felt Matthew's hands around my waist which comforted me. He kissed my cheek and I let out a slight smile. I knew the odds were against us, but I was willing to risk anything to have her stay with me.

********************************************************************************


Matthew and I were discussing the details of the surgery with Dr.Stevens in his office when a voice boomed over the loud speaker.
"Code Blue fourth floor. Code Blue fourth floor." I looked at Matthew and bolted out the door. Primrose was on the fourth floor. I heard foot steps hitting the floor behind me and I knew Matthew was coming after me. I got to the the doorway of her room and saw her passed out with doctors surrounding her bed. I let out a small cry. I tried to run in but felt arms grab me around the waist holding me back. It was Matthew.


"Let me go!" I screamed.
"Don't let her in that room!" I heard Dr. Stevens yell from down the hallway. He had caught up to us and ran into Primrose's room. I saw him close the door in front of me and I lost it. The grip Matthew had on me tightened and I fell to the floor in tears. He stroked my hair and wiped the tears that were streaming down my face. I looked into his eyes and saw the fear that was in them.
I heard the commands Dr.Stevens was yelling in her room and the tears started to increase. Five minutes later he came out the door.
"She's alive. She's barely there, but she's alive." He said.
I ran into her room brushing past him and sat by her bedside.


I started sobbing again when I saw her limp body laying on that hospital bed. I kneeled down and I prayed, something I hadn't done in a long time.
"Please God, please help her. I've never asked for anything before, so please help me now. She's just a child. She doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this. She hasn't even started her life yet. She needs to live. You need to let her live. Please. Please..." I sobbed. Matthew came in to comfort me. He held me in his arms and we just looked at her. Still unconscious from being resuscitated minutes before.
Dr. Stevens came in a few minutes later to speak to us. You could tell by his face that this was the end.
"She's going to die isn't she?" I weeped. My face was bright red and my cheeks were stinging with tears.
"The only thing that could have helped her is that surgery. It takes two days to get to Hidden Springs from here. She's.." He paused. "She's not going to make it over night. I-I'm so so sorry. You need to prepare yourself." He gently shut the door and I broke down. Matthew couldn't get me off the floor. By now it was late afternoon.


The rest of the day went by in a daze. I sat on the couch in her room watching the doctors run in and out every time her heart stopped. What's the use? I though. It's not going to help. They had her in a medically induced coma so she wouldn't be in any pain. That was comforting, knowing she wasn't hurting. Late at night, Dr. Stevens came in with a few papers.
"What's this?" Matthew asked. He had been answering all of the questions because I had been unresponsive.
"It's stating that the next time her heart fails, to..." Dr. Stevens started.
"To.. let her die?" Matthew asked.
Dr. Stevens sighed. "Yes. We could keep resuscitating her, but it's not going to keep her alive forever. Even though she's asleep, her body is still surged with electricity which is painful. With her being asleep, she's not aware of it. We could take her out of the coma to say your good byes, but the next time her heart fails..." He stopped. "This is all up to you."
Matthew glanced at me. I nodded my head slowly. A tear rolled down my cheek. I then gazed into space. Matthew took the paper and sighed it and Dr.Stevens prepared a drip that would wake her up. It would take awhile, but it would wake her up.


About an hour later, she woke up and cringed in pain. I felt myself beginning to cry again and I stopped myself. I couldn't do this now. Her eyes were barely open when we stood by her bed. She smiled up at us.
"Hi." She rasped out.
"Hi sweetheart." Matthew said. I leaned down by her bed and smiled at her.
'How are you feeling?" I asked.
"I hurt all over." She whimpered. I stroked her cheek.
"It's okay sweetheart. You're going to be okay." I choked out.
"Daddy?" She asked.
'Yes?" Matthew answered coming to the side of her bed.
"Can you read me a story?"
"Of course." He pulled out a book on a shelf in her room. It was her favorite. While he read to her I went into the bathroom to wash my face. I needed a break.


I splashed cold water on my face and tried to calm down. How could I though? I was going to lose my child. I took a few deep breaths. I knew right now I was already broken. I also knew that I was going to fall apart even more after tonight. I just couldn't wrap myself around it right now. It was surreal. I sat in the corner of the bathroom and thought about everything. I thought about all the memories I had of her and so many images floated into my mind...










I smiled at the wonderful memories we had made and prepared myself to make some new ones...

***************************************************************************



She smiled when I walked back into the room. I glanced at the monitor next to her bed and I choked up once again. She was getting weaker.
"Daddy finished reading me my book." She smiled.
"That's great Prim. Did you like it?"
"Of course I liked it. It's my favorite!" She was struggling to speak. I didn't want her to talk if it was difficult, but she insisted. She told me about all the wonderful friends she had made while at the hospital and how this one nurse would always sneak her an extra lollipop. It was good that she didn't know what was happening. She would have been scared.
She told me all of these stories she had made up when she couldn't sleep at night. She was such a creative child. She then told me that same butterfly came into her room again.
"It was beautiful mom. I wish you could have seen it." She told me. The three of us spoke for about an hour when she asked me a question.
"Mom? Are we going to Hidden Springs like you said we were?" She asked. By this time she could barely talk at all and she looked exhausted like the life was draining out of her. Even then, she stayed positive. I knew it was coming soon, but I tried to push that thought out of my head.
"Yes sweetheart. We're going to Hidden Springs. It's beautiful there. The grass is so green and soft. The skies are always blue and the clouds are big and white. There are these beautiful butterflies everywhere and there are kids like you that you can play with. Everyone there is so happy, honey. You're going to love it." I let a tear roll down my cheek.
"I want to see the butterflies." She whispered.
"You can Prim. You can see them the second you wake up. I promise. You'll be there the second you wake up."


What followed next destroyed me. The monitor let a one long and indefinite beep. Matthew grabbed me in his arms and held me close. There were tears in his eyes, but I knew he didn't want me to see. I was shaking uncontrollably and the tears were pouring down my face. I was like a faucet that couldn't be turned off. I didn't even realise what was happening when the they came in and took her body away. Matthew tried guiding me to the car to take me home, but it ended in him carrying me. I couldn't even walk. I kept thinking about how if we had known about that tumor earlier, would she be alive? Or would she had died anyway? How could she go from getting better, to dying in one day? How is the world this messed up?

************************************************************************
Note: Please don't hate me :(

18 comments:

  1. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD this is so SAD! I'm wailing over here. Seriously, my face looks like this --> ;_;

    Poor Matthew and Chloe. Oh gosh, I thought she'd live. D:

    WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This was a great and well-written post, Chloe! Keep up the great work!

    ~Calista Smith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know :( I am too. I was shaking as I wrote this. In fact, I still am.

      It's going to be hard for them :/

      Thank you :) I wish it could have been a happier one.

      ~Chloe

      Delete
  2. I wish I could say I hate you.

    But I don't.

    I hate whoever it was that decided cancer was a good idea.

    Well written.

    -Skye

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. xD

      I do too. Stupid biology and all that crap...

      Thanks!

      ~Chloe

      Delete
  3. I...I....I...I...I....Im sobbing
    usually stuff like this dosent make me cry
    i just tear up.
    my brother asked me what was wrong ;_;
    Becksie will come and help Chloe get through this
    :D
    ~Amiee

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm sorry :(

    I'm the same way. Although some times I go full blown water works.

    Hehe I know. You told me xD

    I shall have Becksie come!! ^_^

    ~Chloe

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sorry I haven't commented in a long time, but I'm here now! :D

    First off, -_- <-- that's directed to you, by the way. But I can't stay mad at you forever. Like Skye, I blame whoever decided cancer was a good idea.

    Paisley will be following Becks to help Chloe get through it. :)

    You're an amazing writer, and I'm in love with Matthew. He's such a sweet person and I love how he's always there for Chloe.

    Great job, as per usual! I'm excited for the next post! <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha it's ok!

    I hate cancer :(

    Thanks :)

    Thank you so much! That really means a lot :D I have a huge smile on my face right now.

    I'm in love with Matthew too ^_^

    Thanks again!

    ~Chloe

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh god, She's dead :'( The saddest part was when Chloe remembered the memories of her :'(

    Your a real amazing writer.

    Thanks, :).

    ReplyDelete
  8. I know :(

    Thank you so much! :)

    ~Chloe

    ReplyDelete
  9. brb sobbing ;~; WHY?!

    ~~Kristine~~

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm crying now ;__;

    You write so darn well!
    ~Danielle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry! :(

      Thank you so much! :)

      ~Chloe

      Delete
  11. I'm crying my head off, whyyyyyyyy herrrrrrrr

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :( Me too

      I wish it could have had a happier ending :'(

      ~Chloe

      Delete
  12. Why can't she live? xxxxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. never did a think a sims 3 blog would make me cry. I stand corrected

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    ReplyDelete