Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Only The Good Die Young: Part 2 of 4

"Primrose has kidney cancer." He said.

"Oh God..." I whispered. I began to cry. Why her? Why did it have to be her? "H-How?" I managed to choke out between sobs.

"Well. cancer is unpredictable. When you said she was having extreme fatigue and loss of weight and then the pain in the abdomen, I had a slight feeling. I didn't want to say anything if it was nothing. That would have caused unnecessary stress. But, it turned out to be something. I'm so sorry Ms. Moreau..."

"W-What do we do now? I mean, do we start chemotherapy? Radiation? How are we going to help her?" I started to ramble on. I was panicking. My child was sick and this was something I wouldn't be able to control. My heart was shattered.

"We can start chemotherapy immediately. It will decrease the amount of cancerous cells and at the same time slow the growth of newer ones. Right now surgery is out of the question. There's no reason for it at this time. There are no visible tumors at the moment which is good. That means we caught it early. I can schedule her an appointment for the first round of chemo within two days." All of this information was overwhelming.
I sighed. "Alright. Schedule the appointment."

As I walked out of that hospital, my mind was racing. How did this happen? I'm her mother. I'm supposed to protect her. What do I tell Primrose? What do I tell the kids? Oh God. What do I tell Matthew?

When I got home Matthew greated me at the door.
"Chloe! How was the appointment?" He asked. I had tried not to, but the second I burst into tears he knew something was wrong.

"Chloe, what's wrong?' His face showed alarm. I've never seen fear in his eyes before.
"Primrose has... cancer." I forced myself to say. He looked shocked. He should be.
"She has.. cancer? He finally managed to say.
"Y-yes." I began to sob again.

"Oh Chloe..." He pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you."
"Matthew, you were with the kids. I know you would have been there if you were able. Don't blame yourself. This is no one's fault."
"It's going to be okay." He soothed.
"That's what I keep trying to tell myself. But how do you know?"
He sighed. "She's going to be surrounded by great doctors. They're going to help her. It's going to be okay."
"What do we tell the kids?"

Four Months Later

Primrose was doing great. She never complained at all. I knew she was scared, but she never showed it. No matter how many blood samples they took or needles they injected her with, she kept a smile on her face all the time. I was proud of her. But at the same time I was terrified. The twins made those pictures for her. She kept them all. They were her treasures. They added some happiness to the dismal room.

Matthew and I never told her exactly how sick she was. She didn't know she had cancer, but she knew she was sick. We didn't want to scare her. She was only eight after all. After all of the chemotherapy, her hair fell out. She cried when this happened. She loved her hair. But the whole family was there to support her through everything. We would bring the other kids in to the hospital once, sometimes twice a week. She loved seeing them all.

Every night, without fail, Matthew would read her to sleep.

He would kiss her on the forehead and then close the door and we'd drive home. Every night after he closed the door, he cried. He didn't think I saw him. But I always did. I never said anything to him though. I knew what he was going through. We were both going through it.

One day when I came by for my daily visit, Dr. Stevens said she needed to go through another round of chemo. I sighed. I knew she would be upset. Her hair just grew back. I was going to dread telling her this. The second I opened the door she ran towards me and gave me a hug.
"Hi sweetheart. How are you today?" It was always so hard to be positive when I saw her. It was all still so hard to handle.
"I'm fine. Where's dad?" She asked.
"He's coming in a bit later. He's taking care of the little ones."
"Oh, Okay."
"Listen honey, I need to tell you something."

"What is it mom?" She asked.
"Dr. Stevens says you need to take your medicine again. I know you don't like it, but it's helping you stay healthy." I replied.
She started to get tears in her eyes. "But mom, it makes my hair fall out. I don't want to be bald again. It makes me look ugly."
"Oh sweetheart, no it doesn't. You look beautiful regardless of your hair."
"I don't think so..."

"Yea Matthew. She's getting it now." I said on the phone. "Primrose is with the doctor. She's pretty upset. She doesn't want to lose her hair again. I hate watching her cry..."
"I know. I hate seeing her like that too. I'll be over a little later than I thought.." He replied.
"Why? Is there something wrong?" I asked.
"No, there's just something I need to do." And with that, he hung up leaving me puzzled. I then joined Primrose in her room where she sat having medicine drip into her body. This was all just too much...

Within just two hours, she was vomiting. She insisted I stayed out of the stall which made me even more concerned. I didn't want her going through this alone. But she didn't want me to see her as a "weakling." I told her I thought she was the strongest girl in the world. I meant it.

When she came back to her room we sat on the couch once again and talked. She told me about how a butterfly flew into her room last night and she almost caught it.
"That's wonderful! Was it pretty?" I asked her.
"It was beautiful mom! Just like you." She smiled when she said this. That touched my heart.
"You mean it was beautiful like you." I said. We started to talk some more when I heard a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"It's me." Matthew said.
"Come in."

When he walked in both Primrose and I gasped.

He was BALD.

"Daddy! What did you do to your hair!" She exclaimed.
"I shaved it all off." He said proudly.
"But- but what for?" She asked.
"For you." He smiled. "You think you're the only one who can still look good while being bald? I didn't want you taking all the credit! Now we're both going to be absolutely stunning! What do you say?"
"I don't know about you... But definitely me!" Primrose giggled. Matthew pretended to be insulted.
"Well we'll see about that!" He picked her up and started to tickle her.
"No Daddy! No!" She shrieked.

For the first time in months I could tell she was genuinely happy. And I could thank Matthew for that. I don't know what I would do without him.

Note: Sorry for the lack of pictures. I was just so eager to get this post out. I hope you liked it! :)





  2. I know :( I hated to do it....

    Thank you! :D AND I CAN TELL!

    Farewell Everard! Thanks for commenting xD


  3. Awwwwww it was so sweet for Matthew to do that! Good thing for Chloe he still looks sexy, even bald ;)
    I hope Primrose gets better real quick!!!

  4. I know xD I loved writing that. It just so.. CUTE :D

    I know. He does xD

    Thanks for commenting! :D


  5. Oh my gosh, Matthew's the sweetest! I wasn't expecting him to shave his head but that was the most epic thing ever! :D

    It's so sad that Primrose has cancer but I'm wishing her a quick recovery.

    Awesome post, Chloe!

    ~Calista Smith

  6. Haha thanks! :D I agree!

    You'll find out soon enough!

    Thanks again! :D


  7. I'm crying my eyes out primrose stay strong.<3