Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Only The Good Die Young: Part 2 of 4

"Primrose has kidney cancer." He said.

"Oh God..." I whispered. I began to cry. Why her? Why did it have to be her? "H-How?" I managed to choke out between sobs.

"Well. cancer is unpredictable. When you said she was having extreme fatigue and loss of weight and then the pain in the abdomen, I had a slight feeling. I didn't want to say anything if it was nothing. That would have caused unnecessary stress. But, it turned out to be something. I'm so sorry Ms. Moreau..."

"W-What do we do now? I mean, do we start chemotherapy? Radiation? How are we going to help her?" I started to ramble on. I was panicking. My child was sick and this was something I wouldn't be able to control. My heart was shattered.

"We can start chemotherapy immediately. It will decrease the amount of cancerous cells and at the same time slow the growth of newer ones. Right now surgery is out of the question. There's no reason for it at this time. There are no visible tumors at the moment which is good. That means we caught it early. I can schedule her an appointment for the first round of chemo within two days." All of this information was overwhelming.
I sighed. "Alright. Schedule the appointment."

As I walked out of that hospital, my mind was racing. How did this happen? I'm her mother. I'm supposed to protect her. What do I tell Primrose? What do I tell the kids? Oh God. What do I tell Matthew?

When I got home Matthew greated me at the door.
"Chloe! How was the appointment?" He asked. I had tried not to, but the second I burst into tears he knew something was wrong.

"Chloe, what's wrong?' His face showed alarm. I've never seen fear in his eyes before.
"Primrose has... cancer." I forced myself to say. He looked shocked. He should be.
"She has.. cancer? He finally managed to say.
"Y-yes." I began to sob again.

"Oh Chloe..." He pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you."
"Matthew, you were with the kids. I know you would have been there if you were able. Don't blame yourself. This is no one's fault."
"It's going to be okay." He soothed.
"That's what I keep trying to tell myself. But how do you know?"
He sighed. "She's going to be surrounded by great doctors. They're going to help her. It's going to be okay."
"What do we tell the kids?"

Four Months Later

Primrose was doing great. She never complained at all. I knew she was scared, but she never showed it. No matter how many blood samples they took or needles they injected her with, she kept a smile on her face all the time. I was proud of her. But at the same time I was terrified. The twins made those pictures for her. She kept them all. They were her treasures. They added some happiness to the dismal room.

Matthew and I never told her exactly how sick she was. She didn't know she had cancer, but she knew she was sick. We didn't want to scare her. She was only eight after all. After all of the chemotherapy, her hair fell out. She cried when this happened. She loved her hair. But the whole family was there to support her through everything. We would bring the other kids in to the hospital once, sometimes twice a week. She loved seeing them all.

Every night, without fail, Matthew would read her to sleep.

He would kiss her on the forehead and then close the door and we'd drive home. Every night after he closed the door, he cried. He didn't think I saw him. But I always did. I never said anything to him though. I knew what he was going through. We were both going through it.

One day when I came by for my daily visit, Dr. Stevens said she needed to go through another round of chemo. I sighed. I knew she would be upset. Her hair just grew back. I was going to dread telling her this. The second I opened the door she ran towards me and gave me a hug.
"Hi sweetheart. How are you today?" It was always so hard to be positive when I saw her. It was all still so hard to handle.
"I'm fine. Where's dad?" She asked.
"He's coming in a bit later. He's taking care of the little ones."
"Oh, Okay."
"Listen honey, I need to tell you something."

"What is it mom?" She asked.
"Dr. Stevens says you need to take your medicine again. I know you don't like it, but it's helping you stay healthy." I replied.
She started to get tears in her eyes. "But mom, it makes my hair fall out. I don't want to be bald again. It makes me look ugly."
"Oh sweetheart, no it doesn't. You look beautiful regardless of your hair."
"I don't think so..."

"Yea Matthew. She's getting it now." I said on the phone. "Primrose is with the doctor. She's pretty upset. She doesn't want to lose her hair again. I hate watching her cry..."
"I know. I hate seeing her like that too. I'll be over a little later than I thought.." He replied.
"Why? Is there something wrong?" I asked.
"No, there's just something I need to do." And with that, he hung up leaving me puzzled. I then joined Primrose in her room where she sat having medicine drip into her body. This was all just too much...

Within just two hours, she was vomiting. She insisted I stayed out of the stall which made me even more concerned. I didn't want her going through this alone. But she didn't want me to see her as a "weakling." I told her I thought she was the strongest girl in the world. I meant it.

When she came back to her room we sat on the couch once again and talked. She told me about how a butterfly flew into her room last night and she almost caught it.
"That's wonderful! Was it pretty?" I asked her.
"It was beautiful mom! Just like you." She smiled when she said this. That touched my heart.
"You mean it was beautiful like you." I said. We started to talk some more when I heard a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"It's me." Matthew said.
"Come in."

When he walked in both Primrose and I gasped.

He was BALD.

"Daddy! What did you do to your hair!" She exclaimed.
"I shaved it all off." He said proudly.
"But- but what for?" She asked.
"For you." He smiled. "You think you're the only one who can still look good while being bald? I didn't want you taking all the credit! Now we're both going to be absolutely stunning! What do you say?"
"I don't know about you... But definitely me!" Primrose giggled. Matthew pretended to be insulted.
"Well we'll see about that!" He picked her up and started to tickle her.
"No Daddy! No!" She shrieked.

For the first time in months I could tell she was genuinely happy. And I could thank Matthew for that. I don't know what I would do without him.

Note: Sorry for the lack of pictures. I was just so eager to get this post out. I hope you liked it! :)

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Only The Good Die Young: Part 1 of 4

"Mom?" Lucas asked.
"Hm?" I responded while feeding Liam.
"I know it's early and we aren't supposed to age up for another week, but could we age up today?"
"Why the sudden rush?" I asked.
"I don't know. I'm just sick of being a teenager I guess. I want to grow up and actually be able to do something." I thought about this.
"I suppose. But you'll have to wait until I care for the little ones this morning." I replied with a smile.
"Thanks mom!"

After I fed and changed the younger kids, I let Lucas age up. He was a very handsome young man and a successful one too! He wants to become the CEO of a Mega Corporation.

Next up was the triplets. Calista aged into a beautiful little girl. She had long, wavy hair that she pulled back with a head band.

Primrose, unlike her sister, cut her hair short. She loved to be outside all the time so she didn't want her hair blowing in her face. She was a wonderful child. She always thought of someone before herself and was very creative and smart. I knew she would go far in life. She had a love for butterflies.

Mason left his hair to grow. He wouldn't allow me to cut it. He was constantly pushing his bangs out of his face but he insisted that "he liked it that way." He was a very active and rebellious child.

 Violet was an adorable toddler. She had her father's purple hair and my mom's purple eyes. She was very playful and loved her siblings.

Liam also had his father's purple hair. He had my blue eyes which I have haven't really seen in many of my children. He was a curious little boy. 


"Kids! Do you want to go swimming today?" I shouted down the hallway. Three different doors opened at once. Mason came flying out of his room, already in his trunks. Calista peeked her head out the door and nodded her head vigorously. Matthew stood in the doorway of the nursery with Violet in his arms.

"With toddlers, or not with toddlers. That is the question." Matthew responded.
"With toddlers." I replied laughing. "This will be the first time they'll be going swimming."

Minutes later we were all heading out the door when I noticed Primrose wasn't around. I went into the girls' room and saw her laying on her bed. 
"Hey honey, aren't you coming to the pool with us?" I asked her. 
"Not today mom. I'm so tired." She said.

"Are you feeling okay?" Now I was concerned. I walked toward her and stood by her bed.
"I'm fine. Just tired is all." I then felt her forehead. "Mom, I said I'm fine. I just want to sleep."
"Well.. alright. Call me if you're feeling sick okay? Try to get some rest." I kissed her on the forehead and piled the kids in the car.

One Month Later

I sighed. "Matthew, I think there's something wrong with her." I blurted out.
"With Primrose?" He questioned.
"What makes you say that?"
"Haven't you noticed? She constantly tired all of the time. She's missed nine days of school in the past month because I can't get her out of the bed in the morning. She's lost a lot of weight too. I'm worried."
"I know you are. I am too..." He paused. "Why don't you take her to the Pediatric center of the hospital tomorrow afternoon. See a specialist. I know you've taken her to the family doctor and he told you it's just fatigue, but why don't you get a second opinion?"
"You're right. I'll take her tomorrow." I was determined to find out what was wrong with my daughter. It definitely wasn't just fatigue...

As we watched the kids play in the yard, I noticed she was the only one sitting off in the corner. Just watching. Too weak to play with her siblings.


The next day I took Primrose to the hospital for an appointment with the head of Pediatrics. It was such a large place and it took us a while just to find the nurse's station.

The second we actually found where we were supposed to be I could tell she was scared. I would be too. She's just a child and this place is huge. She gripped my hand and wouldn't let go. I looked into her green eyes and saw the fear that was in them. I hated seeing her like this.

I walked up to a nurse and told her I had an appointment at 12 o'clock with Dr. Stevens.
"He's finishing up with his current patient right now. He should be finished in about five minutes. I'll tell you when he's ready." She said.
"Thank you."

We walked to the waiting room and sat in two very white chairs.
"Mom, I'm scared." Primrose finally spoke.
"Don't be sweetheart. The doctor is just going to ask some questions and then he'll tell you what the problem is, okay? I'm sure everything will be fine." I tried to reassure her.
"Okay..." Five minutes went by like the blink of an eye and I found myself walking down the hallway with a very reluctant 8 year old.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Stevens." Dr. Stevens said.
"Hello. I'm Chloe Moreau and this is my daughter Primrose. Thank you so much for giving us this appointment at such a short notice." I responded.
"Oh, no problem." He said. "Now what brings Primrose here today?"
"Well, she's been very tired lately. She's not normally like that. I took her to the family doctor and he said it was just fatigue. It couldn't be though because she's also losing a lot of weight. I came here for a second opinion."
"Alright. Well let's take a look!"

"Would you be able to sit on the examination table, kiddo?" Dr. Stevens asked. Primrose nodded her head yes. She got up and slowly walked to the table and climbed on.

"So you're tired huh?" Dr. Stevens asked. Primrose nodded her head again. "You know, I don't bite!" Dr. Stevens chuckled. Primrose smiled.
"Your mom says you've been losing weight. Do you have an appetite?"
"Yes." She finally managed to answer him.
"Do you think you're not eating as much because you have a belly ache? Could that be it?"
"I don't know. My belly doesn't hurt." She answered.
"Do you mind if I check it out? I just want to see if you have any pain in your abdomen. I want to make sure."
"O- Ok." She responded. Dr. Stevens felt her back and and stomach and when he got closer to her side she let out a yelp. She started to cry. When I heard the cry of pain it alarmed me. I started to get choked up and turned my head so she wouldn't see me get emotional. I hated seeing my kids in pain.
"Does that hurt, Primrose?" He asked.
"Y- Yes."
"Hmm." He pondered. "I'm going to have her take a urine test. It should be nothing I just want to be on the safe side."

Ten minutes later Primrose was coming out of the bathroom.
"The nurse took my pee away in a cup!" She snickered.
"Oh goodness." I rolled my eyes.

I shooed Primrose into the waiting room and had a quick chat with Dr. Stevens.
"Do you think she'll be fine?" I asked him.
"Well, I'm not sure why she has pain in her abdomen. That's why I had her take a urine test. It could just be stomach discomfort which is what I predict."
"Are you sure? I want to make sure it's nothing more serious."
"That's why we're testing it Ms. Moreau. The results should come back within the week. I'll call when they arrive."
"Thank you for your help."


One week later I was in Dr. Steven's office. It looked exactly the same like every other room in this building. I sat in a chair in front of his desk.
"Thank you for calling me as soon as they came in." I said.
"Oh, of course." He responded.
"So do you know what's wrong with Primrose?"

"I do. In fact the results are right in front of me." He was dragging it out. I felt a lump form in my throat. "When they were testing her urine, they found traces of blood in it which, obviously, isn't good. So, they tested it further."

I felt my heart skip a beat. "Blood? There was blood? What's the diagnosis? Is she going to be okay? What else did they have to test it for?!" Please, please let her be okay. Just get on with it! Sitting in this chair waiting for him to speak was agonizing.

He sighed. "Primrose has..."

Note: I know it's a cliffhanger. Which I hate when I have to read them, so please don't hate me! You will find out what happens in my next post! I hope you liked it and please leave a comment. I appreciate all of them :) Thanks for reading!